| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| TheHideAway |
Posted - July 31 2006 : 5:28:20 PM
I have just now posted my FIRST scene of the fic. Please check it out.  |
| 16 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Explorer |
Posted - September 18 2006 : 11:50:48 PM
I saw today that this story has passed 300 views! Good job, Caroline!
Explorer
"There is nothing quite so exhilarating as to be shot at without effect." Sir Winston Churchill |
| TheHideAway |
Posted - August 24 2006 : 11:00:51 AM
Drum role please!!!
I've completed my story once and for all! Thank GOD!  It's been great writing the story from start to finish, not really knowing how it will start or finish, or how it will twist and turn. Even though you go in with an idea, it really is amazing how far from the idea you can go. But in a good way.
Thank you to Explorer who has helped me along the way. As usual, you've been there. I know it was probably painful for you in some areas of my writing. I'll bet there were some things you'd like to change. Hopefully not.
Thanks for those who have read thus far. I hope it wasn't so painful that you had to skip some places. I won't sue you or anything, so don't worry. This was my first attempt at being solo, so please be forgiving, lol. I really did my best with what I had/have.
I have posted TWO scenes, so don't go in there and go straight to the last post. It won't make sense if you do.
It was a fun ride, thanks for letting me do it, and if you're lucky, I may just do another one. But it'll be a while before I do. |
| TheHideAway |
Posted - August 21 2006 : 3:13:23 PM
JUST completed the latest entry. I apologize for not working on it sooner, but I had to leave when I started writing it, then totally forgot about it.  BUT, completed this latest entry. I should be finishing up in the next couple of days I think. |
| Explorer |
Posted - August 15 2006 : 10:30:40 AM
Caroline-
I just read the newest installment in this story.
I think the time has come to tell you that you are a gifted writer.
This thing has me wishing for each new scene as soon as I finish the current one. I feel DEPRIVED until I read the next scene!
Don't let this go to your head...
Explorer
"There is nothing quite so exhilarating as to be shot at without effect." Sir Winston Churchill |
| Explorer |
Posted - August 10 2006 : 12:22:13 AM
Caroline-
Yeah, I read those Alten books. He isn't Peter Benchley, but is pretty good. That quote did seem familiar.
Have you read Benchly's "Jaws", or "The Deep"? The movies of both are certainly good, too, but the books are infinitely better.
I guess the moral of the quote is that you can't join an unsavory movement and not feel responsible for what it does. But Finn hasn't been doing any of that?! She seems quite nice, now that being part of the Treehouse crew has civilized her. I did address her former moral shakiness in several places in my Fics, mainly in her In Event of My Death letter to George in, "The Crystal Skull", and in, "The Christmas Story", where he chided her and Marguerite for almost shooting the apeman family with no real need. Finn confessed to Veronica in, "Challenger's Birthday" on MK 2's site that she had previously known mainly loyalty only to those who'd help her, and vice-versa. But, as Finn said in that letter before she went to save Veronica in Xochilenque, she begged God for forgiveess for her adultery, but admitted that she was powerless to not love George. I think this is one of the great dramatic manifestations of their love, which brought out latent parts of their personalities that helped both to enjoy life more: her sensuality and zest for living; his lust for knowledge and desire to help others.
Of course, what they eventually learned about Jessie's death is told in, "Thunderbolt Over Burma" in the Fiction here. I'll soon tell how George got his barony in spite of the scandal after people realized that he and Finn were lovers before they could have known that his first wife had died.
I'll be fascinated to see where you go with this. You are doing a WONDERFUL job so far, and I wouldn't say it, if I didn't mean it. I'm a little like George Challenger in that regard.
Here's another quote, which appeared above the stage in my high school's audatorium: "Keep thy heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life." Someone needs to tell Marguerite Krux...
Jim
"There is nothing quite so exhilarating as to be shot at without effect." Sir Winston Churchill |
| TheHideAway |
Posted - August 09 2006 : 11:31:22 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Explorer
Caroline-
I just read this story again, and am even more impressed! I loved that bit, "No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible".
Where did you get that, if it wasn't original with you?
You have me addicted to this tale. Write more soon, as the creativity comes to you.
Explorer
"There is nothing quite so exhilarating as to be shot at without effect." Sir Winston Churchill
Having that come from you, is a great thing to hear. Thank you a LOT, Explorer, I really do appriciate it, sincerely. The saying is actually something that I got from the book, Goliath by Steve Alten. I think you've heard of him, actually. At the beginning of each chapter, there are several quotes from people that, in a way, set the tone of the chapter. And I remembered that particular one that I thought sounded very much like what Malu would say to Finn. Or anyone for that matter. As the story progresses, I think we'll find Finn coming to realize what that means and how she can apply it to her life and the people around her.
There are a lot of quotes in Goliath that I have enjoyed immensly, that I think will add great character to the story and help Finn evolve into something better than she already is. |
| Explorer |
Posted - August 09 2006 : 3:25:17 PM
Caroline-
I just read this story again, and am even more impressed! I loved that bit, "No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible".
Where did you get that, if it wasn't original with you?
You have me addicted to this tale. Write more soon, as the creativity comes to you.
Explorer
"There is nothing quite so exhilarating as to be shot at without effect." Sir Winston Churchill |
| TheHideAway |
Posted - August 06 2006 : 5:32:07 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Explorer
Caroline-
I hate to gush, but this is a TERRIFIC story! I'm not saying that you can't polish the writing a bit here and there, and remember to proofread for "typos", but the rest, especially the plot...WOW!
I'm looking forward to the next installment.
Oh: why did you choose a Samoan god to visit her? It works fine, just wondered if you have an attachment to American Samoa, or something?
Finn's ghostwalking creeps me out a little, but is a good plot device. I thought she was just going to lie in bed, hearing others, but not strong enough to reply, or that she'd have hallucinations or flashback dreams. You're getting really complex and imaginative here. Congratulations!
Jim
"There is nothing quite so exhilarating as to be shot at without effect." Sir Winston Churchill
Thank you. I do need to polish the story and I will go back and maybe re-write some of the stuff so that it flows better. I have actually been re-reading Children of the Mind by Orson Scott Card and part of the story has two of the main characters going to visit some people who are of Samoan descent. SO, I thought that maybe I could change it up a bit and have a Samoan help Finn, rather than the usual Zanga. Don't worry, I will have a cameo of Xma'Klee. I just haven't gotten there yet.
As for the hallucinations/flashbacks, I'm going to include those. And just to help everyone out, I will be going back and forth between Finn's "world" and the "world" of the living, i.e. her friends. So don't get confused. She is just having an out of body experience and will have a little perspective. |
| Explorer |
Posted - August 06 2006 : 09:45:36 AM
Caroline-
I hate to gush, but this is a TERRIFIC story! I'm not saying that you can't polish the writing a bit here and there, and remember to proofread for "typos", but the rest, especially the plot...WOW!
I'm looking forward to the next installment.
Oh: why did you choose a Samoan god to visit her? It works fine, just wondered if you have an attachment to American Samoa, or something?
Finn's ghostwalking creeps me out a little, but is a good plot device. I thought she was just going to lie in bed, hearing others, but not strong enough to reply, or that she'd have hallucinations or flashback dreams. You're getting really complex and imaginative here. Congratulations!
Jim
"There is nothing quite so exhilarating as to be shot at without effect." Sir Winston Churchill |
| TheHideAway |
Posted - August 04 2006 : 10:05:16 PM
Thanks again, you two. I need to work on the next scene. I don't know if I want to write something now, but I do have something in mind.  |
| ChipH |
Posted - August 02 2006 : 8:39:51 PM
Keep up the good work. I love it so far. |
| Explorer |
Posted - August 02 2006 : 3:03:44 PM
Caroline-
I am just thrilled for you! Your story has barely begun, and you already have 48 views, as this is written. Chip has mentioned your Fic on the TLW board, and I've included it on MK2's board, in the General section. So, people should get to hear about it and show up to read it. I think they'll be back for the whole story!
Explorer |
| ChipH |
Posted - August 01 2006 : 8:42:21 PM
Congrats Caroline, your first entry is actually quite decent. But remember, it's a first entry. Good first try. Can't wait to see what else you have in store for us. |
| Explorer |
Posted - August 01 2006 : 5:37:54 PM
Caroline-
Her handgun is a Smith & Wesson Military and Police Model, a .38 Special caliber with a five-inch barrel. She's cleaning it in the opening scene of, "The Crystal Skull".
Her rifles vary with the anticipated need. One is a Mannlicher-Schoenauer 6.5mm carbine, and the other is a Winchester M-92 lever-action in .44/40 caliber. She got one from Burton's dead slavers after, "Spirit Jaguar", and the other from the expedition that killed each other off because the demon was in one of them in, "Suspicion".
The Mannlicher can be seen in an African journal's page that I linked on your old Orth site:
www.americanbty12.proboards62.com
Just look for that topic, about Finn's Mannlicher, in the Fan Fiction section. The cartridge is also shown.
Additionally, in, "The Christmas Story", John Roxton was making her a Bowie knife with a six-inch blade. Her Swiss Army knife is described in a story about it on MK2's site:
www.margueritekrux2.proboards61.com also in Fiction. I have a funny story there in which I told how I selected that model of SAK for her.
Just scroll down that thread until you see it., I sent it to a knife magazine, and the editor liked it, but said that too few readers would know about TLW to make it worth running. 
But if you want her to carry the crossbow and a knife, it's your story, and she might have tried that, for nostalgia, or to prove herself against the jungle and show up "big sister". The knife could be the Bowie with silver butt cap and guard that Roxton made for her in my story.
I can't wait to see your next scene here.
Jim |
| TheHideAway |
Posted - August 01 2006 : 1:02:20 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Explorer
HideAway-
Just read it! Glad this is underway!
Good story, so far, and you left us hanging, waiting for the next scene. Now, read all of this: the best part is at the last. The griping is up front...
Two items: first, remember: to, too, and two. Don't say. "to" when you mean, "too". Easily corrected, of course: just add an "o".
Item two: Finn forgot to uncock her crossbow after she headed home with Ned. Those things shouldn't stay cocked unless you're about ready to use them. It stresses the mechanism and is unsafe. Like walking around with a bow at full draw...and I am probably the only person who will read this and think of that. Or, that crossbow "arrows" are called "quarrels" or bolts".
My college journalism class once gave me the Nitpicker of the Year Award for grousing about copy errors, and if this is all I found to squawk about, you must be doing pretty good writing.
Frankly, I can't wait to see the next installment. And, I am deeply touched that you have Challenger and Finn together and that you captured Finn's daring spirit so well. I can really see her going to hunt a raptor with her crossbow, just for the thrill of it, although I gave her guns in my own Fics. Finn would also want to have time to herself, learning the jungle, relying on herself. She loves V., and her counsel, but there would still be some need to prove herself, without having "big sister" to take care of her. I think you got that attitude just right. Very astute of you.
Caroline, this is wonderful. You are off to a great start!
Jim/Explorer
The dreaded to, too, and two. I can go back and correct those then. Also about calling the arrows by the correct name. Thanks for that. I should probably get Chip to up your status on here from "member" to "moderator" just so you can correct my mistakes for me!
Thanks again. It really does make me feel good that you liked it. And that others will like it as well. I will need to look over what guns you gave to Finn. I almost went back to look what you gave her, but I didn't get that far, lol. |
| Explorer |
Posted - July 31 2006 : 6:41:02 PM
HideAway-
Just read it! Glad this is underway!
Good story, so far, and you left us hanging, waiting for the next scene. Now, read all of this: the best part is at the last. The griping is up front...
Two items: first, remember: to, too, and two. Don't say. "to" when you mean, "too". Easily corrected, of course: just add an "o".
Item two: Finn forgot to uncock her crossbow after she headed home with Ned. Those things shouldn't stay cocked unless you're about ready to use them. It stresses the mechanism and is unsafe. Like walking around with a bow at full draw...and I am probably the only person who will read this and think of that. Or, that crossbow "arrows" are called "quarrels" or bolts".
My college journalism class once gave me the Nitpicker of the Year Award for grousing about copy errors, and if this is all I found to squawk about, you must be doing pretty good writing.
Frankly, I can't wait to see the next installment. And, I am deeply touched that you have Challenger and Finn together and that you captured Finn's daring spirit so well. I can really see her going to hunt a raptor with her crossbow, just for the thrill of it, although I gave her guns in my own Fics. Finn would also want to have time to herself, learning the jungle, relying on herself. She loves V., and her counsel, but there would still be some need to prove herself, without having "big sister" to take care of her. I think you got that attitude just right. Very astute of you.
Caroline, this is wonderful. You are off to a great start!
Jim/Explorer |
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